They should really pass out barf bags in church
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
