fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize