Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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