Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize