what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
