she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
