Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
