I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
