My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
