despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
