hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
