you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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