i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
