Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
