this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
