He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize