he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
