K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
