I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
