we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I love you. Go after that dick
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
