Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
