let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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