i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
