I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I currently don't understand fingers.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
