the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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