I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
