Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
