everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
