i jhust puked up my retainher.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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