DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
