she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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