I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
