so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
A+ Viking dick
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize