Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
