I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize