He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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