we made out on top of his cat.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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