While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
