Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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