you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
