I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
