Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
