Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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