look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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