Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
