apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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