dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
