that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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