i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
