Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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