Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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