Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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