maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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