those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
