Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
