I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
