i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
