Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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