clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
